How To Improve Self Esteem
Courage and Confidence
Learning About Courage And Confidence Can Have Amazing Benefits For Your Life And Success. Summon the giant within and take control of your destiny.
The following questionnaire will enable you to assess your self-esteem, purpose, and goals. Simply circle the number that best describes your thoughts about yourself and your current situation. Then add your score. If your score is 70-75, you are already employing Optimal Thinking consistently. This section of Optimal Thinking will reinforce your thinking and provide you with additional ways to optimize your self-esteem, purpose, and goals. If your score is 46-70, your self-esteem, purpose, and goals are extraordinary however, you have not accomplished what might still be possible or in your best interest. This section of Optimal Thinking will empower you to take the best actions to make the most of yourself and your life. When you choose the best and do not settle for second best, you experience a sense of completion in your life. If your score is 16-45, your self-esteem, purpose, and goals are mediocre. You doubt your capabilities and are not making the most of your talents and...
As we saw earlier, some form of suggestion or conditioning can alter a person's self image. In his approach, Maltz considered experience a key factor in creating and or modifying self image. The successes and failures we have experienced in the past condition our future. They are the reference points on which we model our behavior. For example, do you remember the first time you drove a car You were probably extremely nervous. Each of your actions required a concentrated effort. Why Because your experience of driving was very limited, you had few if any memories upon which you could model your present actions. Gradually, as you acquired more and more experience, your actions became more accurate and effective, until you finally reached a point where you could break, steer, change gears, make complicated trajectory calculations and turn up the volume on your car stereo, all at the same time, with hardly any effort at all. When our self image is positive, forged on memories of success,...
Your level of self-esteem is largely determined by how closely your self-image your current performance and behavior matches your self-ideal your picture of how you would perform if you were at your very best. You are always comparing your actual performance with your ideal performance at an unconscious level. Whenever you feel that you are living up to your very best, you feel terrific about yourself. Your self-esteem soars. You feel happy and fulfilled. Whenever you do or say something that is not in keeping with your ideals or the best of which you feel you are capable, your self-esteem goes down. Whenever there is a wide separation between the person you are in the moment and the ideal person you want very much to be in the future, you feel badly about yourself. This is why you get angry with yourself whenever you fail at something, or behave badly in a situation with other people. Your self-ideal continually reminds you of how much better a person you can be.
When you were growing up, your parents and other important people gave you many signals about the kind of person you were. Some of their signals were encouraging, loving, and validating. They may have said such things as I love you, You are my pride and joy, You're a clever kid, You can succeed at anything when you put your mind to it. Other messages from these authorities were far from Optimal and certainly not affirmative. You may have heard Why did you do a dumb thing like that , You never do anything right, You're a bad child. What you thought about yourself and how you felt when receiving those messages formed the basis of your self-esteem. Your level of self-esteem today is based on the thoughts and feelings you have accumulated about yourself since that time. In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Dr. Nathaniel Branden, commonly known as the father of the self-esteem movement, offers this definition Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the...
In an emotionally confusing world, maintaining your self-esteem is sometimes a hard task. Indeed, the concept of self-esteem needs some further explanation, for it is at the root of why so many people feel that they are not ready to learn. It is a hugely complex area with which, as a global society, we are only just beginning to get to grips. Self-esteem how much you value yourself is slippery stuff. One day you feel great. Then you lose your job or something devastating happens in your personal life and your esteem suddenly plummets. Of course, loss of self-esteem can be much more subtle than this. Not doing as well as you would like to, feeling undervalued, feeling uncertain of your role these are just some of the more common experiences leading to a lowering of self-esteem. Or it could be a single aspect of life that is going wrong and infecting all the rest, like a rotten apple in a fruit bowl. Although it is always a good thing to give people positive feedback and seek to bolster...
How would you describe your self-esteem Do you have low, average, high, or Optimal self-esteem Take some time now to jot down your thoughts and feelings about yourself. When Anne wrote how she felt about herself in the paragraph below, she realized she wavered in her liking for herself. Sometimes I like myself and feel good. At other times, I dislike myself and feel inadequate. I guess I have average self-esteem. I seem to have extraordinarily high self-esteem
Do you feel confident in your day-to-day life Do you feel that you have what it takes to create what you want You can maximize your self-confidence by resolving your fears and focusing on what you do best. When you give yourself credit for what you do best, you will create an environment for optimizing your feelings. You can then decide how to make the most of your talents, assets, and accomplishments. Remember to always reinforce your accomplishments and triumphs by appreciating and celebrating them.
The same thing applies to negative opinions we hold about ourselves. For a long time I maintained a highly negative self image. Whenever I had trouble with my homework, for example, I would immediately conclude that '. I could never understand, I'd never succeed.' Of course that would only make the work that much more difficult, and I'd often end up in tears, to the alarm of my parents.
Being mindful of what you say, think and do is only the first step in altering your behavior to obtain better results. The next step is the willingness to get unstuck from such behavior. You can know the right nutrition, the right exercise, the right emotions to have and the right environment to enshroud yourself in, but unless you have the will, desire, incentive or motivation to act on what you know, the knowledge cannot get you to a better place. You can have low energy or have various aches and pains or be ill or have a low self-esteem, but you can overcome all of these obstacles with your human will power So how do you activate that volitional part of yourself that can make better choices Through practice. To get unstuck from set patterns, practice doing things differently for a change. You have to be willing to experiment with yourself for this exercise to work. Whatever your set behavior is, do exactly the opposite of what you normally would do. That's not such
If writing is indeed the best way of taking in, analysing and passing on information, why are so many people having problems in the fields of learning, thinking, creativity and memory Why do they complain of basic inability, loss of self-confidence, diminishing interest, and reduced powers of concentration, memory and thinking
Dale Carnegie once wrote, Tell me what gives a person his greatest feeling of importance and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. What gives you your greatest feeling of importance What gives you a heightened sense of self-esteem when you do it successfully What do you most enjoy doing, so much so that you are drawn back to it continuously
The Psychology of Self-Esteem. New York Nash, 1969. -. How to Raise Your Self-Esteem. New York Bantam Books, 1987. -. The Power of Self-Esteem. Deerfield Beech, Fla. Health Communications, Inc., 1992. McKay, Matthew, and Patrick Fanning. Self-Esteem. Oakland New Harbinger Publications, 1987.
Writing in a journal has many advantages. It can clarify your goals and sharpen your thoughts each day about what is important to you and what you really want out of life. Your self-worth is enhanced as you note your daily achievements and joys of life. Problems also seem minimized when they are written down on paper. You will learn to express your feelings better, and when you learn to express your feelings, you strengthen your relationships. Journaling can also be a form of meditation. It can quiet your mind and focus your thoughts. It can reduce your anxiety, cheer you up and make you smile. it's still useful or valid for your life. Write down meaningful changes and events all the way to the present time. Afterwards, reading what you have written to yourself or even sharing it with someone else that has done likewise can provide you with powerful insight toward improvement. When two or more people do this in an honest and reciprocal way, a broader picture is often afforded to all...
I have never encountered two mental laboratories that were exactly the same. Some people like to bury their special room underground. Others construct their lab on another planet. The materials people choose are also interesting steel, wood, stone, glass, plastic, carpets, leather, luxurious or ascetic, antique or futuristic, etc. These choices always seem to correspond to the deepest, most heartfelt aspirations of their creators, providing them with the peace and harmony that is so often lacking in their day to day lives, where they find themselves besieged by colleagues, clients, secretaries, ringing telephones, TV, radio, traffic, children, etc. It is only while relaxing in their dream laboratory, gazing out at the scenery of their choice, that they feel completely secure. This feeling leads to increased self confidence, which is extremely important for preventing inhibiting reflexes from blocking out subconscious imaging.
I would have occasion to see the same kind of positive results in the United States and Japan. In 1970 I was teaching psychocybernetics to teams of sales representatives. In 1972, after attending a series of psychology workshops in the U.S., Jean-Claude Gimet, a cybernetics specialist who hosted seminars on management and planning, suggested that we work together on personal development seminars which would be offered to corporate clients. With the help of Phillip Lecomte, a psychologist and director of a large mining concern, who happened to be interested in the same techniques, I came up with a plan for a three day seminar. A short time later the three of us conducted our first seminar, which we called the Personal Achievement Seminar - a course on personal development based on the psychology of self image. The results we obtained led to our being hired by a number of large industrial and commercial corporations. We conducted seminars for their sales and technical staff. Since then,...
One man though has made some headway within the U.S. school systems -Dr. C. Samuel Micklus. With his wife Carole, they have developed a program called Odyssey of the Mind (OM). The Odyssey of the Mind Program, under the auspices of OM Association, Inc., a not-for-profit corporation, promotes divergent thinking in students from kindergarten through college. It is a program that offers students a unique opportunity to participate in challenging and creative activities both inside and outside their regular classroom curriculum. In OM teams, students develop self-confidence in creating solutions, evaluating their ideas and making final decisions. It makes learning fun. Now going into its eleventh year, over 350,000 students from the U.S., Canada, Mexico, China and Australia compete internationally on specially designed Odyssey of the Mind problems. To learn how to get your child's school involved in the OM program, write Odyssey of the Mind, P.O. Box 27, Glassboro, NJ 08028
To solve the problem of poverty, ask, what are the attributes of povertySome answers people, crime, lack of food, lack of goods, large families, psychological lacks, low self esteem, welfare, lack of jobs, lack of job skills, lack of value-rich upbringing, lack of education, lack of motivation, poor economic judgment (poor buying skills), poor quality housing, poor quality transportation.
My favorite affirmation is, I like myself repeated over and over again in a spirit of complete confidence. When you repeat, I like myself several times per day, you send this message deep into your subconscious mind. The more you like yourself, the higher will be your self-esteem. The higher your self-esteem, the better
As an exercise to anchor the state of bold, powerful self-confidence, close your eyes and remember a time when you were powerfully confident in yourself, when you were assertive and in complete control of a situation, when you knew exactly how and what you were doing and when you were highly motivated to do something. Now step into that experience, and feel the enthusiasm and energy you had while in that state. If you have trouble remembering such a time, think how intense it would feel if you did have such an experience. Now holding onto that thought, open your eyes and stand up. Put your body into the postural stance best suited for this totally confident feeling you're experiencing. Now at the peak of this confident state, squeeze the knuckle of the middle finger of your right hand with your thumb, make a
You may ask What is peak performance Many professionals claim that if we think positively display courage, persistence, and self-reliance and use their suggested techniques for setting goals, managing time, and relating to others, then we will achieve peak performance. Such qualities and techniques are certainly constructive ingredients for success, but what is essential for peak performance is peak or Optimal Thinking. We cannot function at our peak when we think in suboptimal terms. Whenever we think suboptimally, it costs us time, energy, joy, and money. Our performance is always compromised if we think in only mediocre or even extraordinary terms.
I also have this to say, and it is very important if, in the past, you felt there was something wrong with you, if there was something you didn't like about yourself, rest assured that from now on whatever was bothering you about yourself will gradually start to disappear, and will be replaced by a strong sense of self confidence, based on the strength you draw from that immeasurable force that exists in each and every one of us. You should know that this unshakable confidence in yourself is absolutely indispensable for all human beings. Without self confidence you'll never amount to anything, with it you can do anything you want, within reason. Your self confidence will get stronger day by day. It will provide you with the certitude that, not only are you able to do things well, you are able to do whatever you want - and whatever it is your duty to do - extremely well, on condition, of course, that what you want is within the bounds of reason.
From the limitations that are undermining your self image. Of course the aim here is not to create some kind of inflated, false image that has nothing to do with your real potential. You simply have to see yourself as you could become, and let that image impregnate your subconscious mind for a period of 21 days, which is the time it usually takes to develop any kind of new habit, or become accustomed to a new situation, whether it be to a new hairstyle, house, job, etc. When we use our mind to modify our self image, thoughts must be accompanied by emotions. The event that marked young Alfred Adler did so because it had a powerful emotional impact on him. This is exactly what happens when we modify our self image if we imagine details, colors, odors, sensations and emotions with enough sharpness and clarity, they can actually replace previous images which are detrimental to our progress.
Of a message in order to protect our self image. Things get even more complicated when we realize that our subconscious mind often uses symbols to try and express those very problems which cause us to form inhibitions. If we want to use dreaming for creative or paranormal purposes, we have to somehow avoid the trap of censure in order to understand the symbols generated by our own mind.
It would be useless to talk about control if this were not true. And as absolute as this axiom may seem to patients, they must use it as a basis for defending themselves. This is the only way they can awaken their normal reactive faculties, increase their resistance and self confidence, and cease being a slave of all and any exterior impressions.
However, what may be true for a balanced mind is not necessarily true for a non-controlled mind. Psychasthenic patients, therefore, can develop very useful habits through voluntary action. If their actions are carried out properly, they feel more in control, become calmer and weigh their actions more carefully. With their brain constantly occupied with something concrete, they experience less and less anxiety. Their self confidence is given a boost, and they get into the habit of controlling what they think and do.
Self-confidence and a belief that you have the ability to conjure up mental images is important in blindfold chess. Although it is easy to visualize a naked person of the opposite sex, you may be a bit surprised that with a little practice it is just as easy to visualize a chessboard and its pieces.
As I traveled around the world conducting seminars on personal development, I met thousands of people who were suffering from a lack of self confidence. Although they were often not aware of it, this lack of faith in their own abilities, this mutilated self image, undermined their very existence. All had developed an inferiority complex, to some degree. Even people who seemed to be bursting with confidence were often only maintaining a facade, compensating for their inner lack of self esteem by putting up a brave front. They may have fooled others for awhile, but they inevitably suffered from periods of terrible, recurring anxiety.
Little by little, we increase the level of difficulty by asking patients to do things which take more energy, and for longer periods, for example writing a letter, or even making a decision and carrying it out within a given time. Patients should be reminded that in the beginning of the re-education process, their willpower is a very temporary force, and should be taken advantage of while it is there. Also, any decisions they make should be carried through, otherwise they will lose all self confidence.
In other words, they overgeneralize and overdramatize a small failure rather than dismissing it as a temporary setback and going on to the next call. They interpret the experience negatively. It then has a negative effect on their self-image I'm no good. Their work performance declines and they do even worse next time.
As an exercise, create a 12-minute loop tape with the information that you want to learn. Then put it on a timer to be played one hour upon going to sleep and one hour upon awakening. For example, with Spanish vocabulary, say the following This is your Spanish vocabulary for the night. You are relaxed and in a twilight sleep. You will remember the following words forever. Then read your vocabulary to be learned onto the repeating tape in 4-second intervals as in Exercise -- Rhythmic Memorizing. If the material to be learned was recorded at 212 times normal speaking speed with a special tape recorder and still spaced at 4-second intervals, it would increase the bulk to be absorbed (see Exercise - High Speed Listening ). Learning in this manner is utilizing the otherwise idle moments during the night. One study revealed that sleep-learning improves with time. Apparently the brain gets better accustomed to absorption with more practice. If you design your tapes with affirmations, you can...
Talking rationally about, for example, your fear or anger (instead of displaying it) tends to demonstrate self-confidence and self-control. You put your highest self in charge when you say This is how I feel about the problem. I believe this is the best way to resolve it. What's your input on how to most effectively deal with it When you honor your feelings, apply Optimal Thinking to make the best of them, and assess what is in your best interest before taking action, you demonstrate the most constructive rational behavior.
Jim, a race-car driver, uses this technique. Whenever he wants to feel fully focused, exhilarated, skillful, and totally confident, he mentally places himself on the track and imagines himself speeding around the corners. He also jots down his victories in his Optimal journal. On occasions where he doubts himself or faces a frightening experience, he uses his journal to remind him of his numerous accomplishments. He optimizes his self-confidence
When Anne wrote her list of action steps to optimize her assets, she identified, in order of priority, the actions that would have the most beneficial effect on her self-confidence and self-respect. She identified the specific actions necessary to experience herself at her best. Here is the first part of her prioritized list
The best part of practicing the quality of courage is that each time you behave courageously, you feel stronger and better about yourself. Your self-esteem increases and you like yourself more. You feel more confident and competent. You feel happier inside. In contrast, each time you compromise yourself in the area of courage your self-esteem goes down. You feel weaker and less competent. You don't like or respect yourself as much.
The most powerful words in your vocabulary are the words that you say to yourself and believe.Your self-talk, your inner dialogue, determines 95 percent of your emotions. When you talk to yourself, your subconscious mind accepts these words as commands. It then adjusts your behavior, your self-image, and your body language to fit a pattern consistent with those words.
You begin the process of changing your thinking and changing your life by going to work on your self-concept. You start by developing a clear, positive, exciting, and inspiring self-ideal, consistent with the very best person you can imagine yourself becoming. You develop a positive self-image by imagining yourself performing at your very best in everything you do. Finally, you develop high and unshakable levels of self-esteem by loving and accepting yourself unconditionally as a valuable and worthwhile person.
The second group you must forgive is the people from your close relationships that didn't work out. Marriage and other intimate relationships can be so intense, and so threatening to your feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, that you can be angry and unforgiving toward those people for years.
The second part of your self-concept is your self-image. This is the way you see yourself and think about yourself. It is often called your inner mirror. It is where you look internally to see how you should behave in a particular situation. Because of the power of your self-image, you always perform on the outside consistent with the picture you have of yourself on the inside. The discovery of the self-image, pioneered by Maxwell Maltz, is a major breakthrough in understanding human performance and effectiveness. By visualizing and imagining yourself performing at your best in an upcoming situation, you send a message to your subconscious mind.Your subconscious mind accepts this message as a command, and then coordinates your thoughts, words, and actions so that they fit a pattern consistent with the picture you created. All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures.Your internal images influence your emotions, your behaviors, your attitudes, and...
Psychologists say that everything we do is to increase our self-esteem and sense of personal value, or to protect it from being diminished by other people or circumstances. If your self-esteem is not as high as it could be, you will be sensitive to the actions and reactions of other people toward you.You will take everything personally, exactly as if what they said or did was consciously and deliberately directed at you. However, this is seldom the case.
Psychologists agree today that your self-esteem lies at the core of your self-concept and your personality. Every improvement in any part of your personality or performance boosts your self-esteem, and causes you to like and respect yourself even more. The more you like yourself, the better will be your self-image and subsequent performance, and the faster you will move toward becoming more like your self-ideal. The best news of all is that there is an inverse relationship between your level of self-esteem and your fears of failure and rejection. The more you like yourself, the less you fear failure. The more you like yourself, the less concerned you are with the opinions of others, and the less you fear criticism. The more you like yourself, the more you make your decisions based on your own goals and standards, and the less you care what others think or say.
II who was considering a change of career and personal direction. She did the Mind Map in order to see who she was and what her belief systems were. Initially she suffered from relatively low self-esteem. However, by the time she II had completed her self-analysis, she was as radiant as the Mind Map itself.
By creating visualizations where you are an active participant, you build self-confidence and establish prepared scenarios in your mind to give you a better ability to handle yourself later. Even when totally different emergencies pop up, your readiness for them will produce better responses.
With many people, there is a distinct need to feel important. Without this feeling fulfilled, a person often suffers from self-doubt, guilt, insecurity and low self-worth. Those same people will go to great lengths to maintain a good reputation, or to demonstrate that they are needed, or to gain a bit of self-esteem, or to prove their superiority, or to show that they're right, or even to meet a challenge presented to them. If you diplomatically satisfy these areas to such ego-oriented people, you become master over any situation with them. Their emotional mind loves it, and their logical mind is suspended.
Your emotional life is a natural and sacred part of you. Your feelings are direct responses to your perception. They signal whether your experiences are pleasurable or painful. When you acknowledge your feelings, you are in touch with your humanity, and when you honor them, you demonstrate self-respect. You can take the wisest actions to minimize your troublesome feelings when you take responsibility for creating them. Embracing vulnerability is your path to wholeness.
When Anne completed her list of actions to correct her weaknesses, she again noticed that her weaknesses were more specific than her strengths. She had always been interested in self-improvement she suddenly realized that she had formed the habit of finding fault with herself and correcting her flaws to temporarily avoid feeling bad about herself. By neglecting to appreciate and make the most of her strengths, she had robbed herself of self-esteem. When she finished making the most of her assets, she concentrated on minimizing her weaknesses. She prioritized her most important action steps by asking Which action will be most beneficial to my self-confidence and self-respect In this way, she was able to choose from her lists the best actions to maximize her self-esteem. Here is her prioritized list of action steps to minimize her weaknesses
As an exercise, close your eyes for a moment, and step into the feeling of being such a special individual. Trigger your anchor for self-confidence (review Exercise -- Anchoring Positive States of Mind ). Feel the power at your command as your mind fills and surges with ideas. Now open your eyes, and as this citizen of the U.S., break down the problem of air pollution into smaller subproblems, and write down in a notebook a creative way to solve the problem of air pollution from your citizen level. Afterwards, proceed with water, soil and food pollution in a similar fashion. Most people don't think about large problems for too long because they feel that it's just too sizable for them to do anything about. When you seriously do think about such problems, you quickly find that there is something you CAN do about them after all.
Delores Krieger, a professor of nursing at New York University made some breakthroughs with the technique of laying-on-of-hands, later known as therapeutic touch. Because there is an exchange of energy through the power of touch, her research showed that patients in hospitals recovered faster when they were touched in a caring way by friends, relatives or nurse attendants. The healing energy exchanged was improved by a more positive attitude of the givers (see Exercise -Increase Your Energy, Increase Your Health ). Patients were also healed faster when they expressed an abundance of self-love and self-appreciation.
If you were drunk or addicted to something or mentally aberrational, could you recognize that your behavior was different Do you know what makes you cry or what makes you angry Unless emotions are intensely experienced, many people find difficulty in describing or relating to their feelings. They sometimes even deny experiencing the emotions of love, fear, anger or pleasure, because of the lack of conscious awareness of such emotions. People may even feign love or pleasure to cover up unhappiness and low self-esteem. Some obese people are unable to tell the difference between being fearful, angry or hungry, and so they lump all those feelings together as hunger. Then they feel better about themselves by eating. The hunger for food and sex also gets confused in some people, whereby food is then used to gratify sexual frustrations. Sexually promiscuous people sometimes cannot distinguish between lust, compassion, sorrow, gratitude, kindness -- and love When you practice identifying your...
As we develop as children, we go through a phase where justice is very important to us. We fixate on the concept of fairness. We are upset by any situation in our lives that does not seem to be fair and equitable to anyone, especially if it concerns ourselves. Whenever we feel that we or anyone else has been unfairly treated, for any reason, we take it as a personal attack. Our fragile self-esteem is threatened. We react with anger and resentment. This is a normal developmental phase of growth that we go through as we move toward adulthood. Just imagine how you would feel if you had no anger toward anyone at all in the whole world. Imagine being a completely positive, optimistic, cheerful person, with high levels of self-esteem and enthusiasm and unlimited self-confidence. Imagine being a warm, friendly, loving person filled with feelings of calmness and inner peace. All this is possible for you when you practice forgiveness.
The respect of the people you respect, or at least not to lose it. In fact, the people whose respect is most important to you largely determine how good you feel about yourself, both at home and at work. The respect of others has an inordinate influence on your self-esteem because it is so closely linked to your self-ideal and your self-image.
The core of your personality is your level of self-esteem.Your self-esteem is a measure of how much you value yourself, and how much you think of yourself as an important and worthwhile person. Your self-esteem is the power source of your personality. It determines your levels of energy, enthusiasm, motivation, inspiration, and drive.The more you like and respect yourself, the better you do at everything you attempt. And the better you do, the more you like and respect yourself. Self-esteem and personal excellence reinforce each other.
The third part of your self-concept is your self-esteem. This is the emotional component of your personality, and is the most important factor in determining how you think, feel, and behave. Your level of self-esteem largely determines much of what happens to you in life. Your self-esteem is best defined as how much you like yourself. The more you like yourself, the better you perform at anything you attempt. And by the law of reversibility, the better you perform, the more you like yourself. Your self-esteem is the reactor core of your personality. It is the energy source that determines your levels of confidence and enthusiasm. The more you like yourself, the higher will be the standards you will set for yourself. The more you like yourself, the bigger the goals you will set for yourself and the longer you will persist in achieving them. People with high self-esteem are virtually unstoppable. Your level of self-esteem determines the quality of your relationships with others. The...
G Generosity is an important attribute. In a generous culture, self-respect grows, creativity is encouraged, and experimentation is seen as part of the process of learning. S Sleep and Stretch breaks keep your brain healthy. Exploring your Spiritual intelligence may help you to gain control of your life. Self-esteem is essential in the learning process.
Attitude or money -- maybe, but most of all, it's self-assurance. When a man is self-confident, he is comfortable with himself and relaxed around women. His eyes don't dart around to every pretty lass that passes by. To get a woman to think you're sexy, exude self-confidence then swaying a woman your way will be no problem. If you want to turn women away, act insecure or unsure of yourself. Also, since laughing releases endorphins in the brain, making a woman laugh relaxes any tenseness she has and she feels more at ease with you.
After all, if you think things happen by chance, how can you be responsible for what happens to you If you have a low self-image and don't like yourself, how can your body produce a perfectly healthy structure How can you fulfill in your body what you're not thinking in your mind Many people take the stance I'm not going to be sick today, I don't have time for it , and go through life without any maladies Conscious choice and will power do make a difference, so tune into yourself and make good choices.
The second major factor that holds people back is homeostasis. This is defined as a striving for constancy. It is a deep desire to remain consistent with what you have done and said in the past. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in his essay Self-Reliance, A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
You can sit comfortably, close your eyes, and meditate on an Optimal feeling such as joy, peace, serenity, love, Optimal self-esteem, compassion, strength, or laughter. Choose the feeling you most wish to embody, and continually repeat to yourself the word that best describes that feeling. Fully embrace your Optimal word. You can meditate on the meaning it holds for you and how to make the most productive use of the feeling in your life. When other thoughts cross your mind, accept them, and as soon as possible, return to embracing your Optimal word. When you experience another feeling or bodily sensation, simply accept it, then refocus your attention on your Optimal word. It is best to schedule twenty minutes a day, before meals, to enjoy this most relaxing and fulfilling process.
In one university study, it was discovered that people in a negative mood were more likely to believe negative things stated to them about themselves. Conversely, people in a positive mood were more prone to accept positive feedback. Since most people are exposed to more negativity during the course of a day than positivity, is there any wonder that people suffer from depression and low self-esteem at the end of a normal day Negativity affects your physical and psychological well being, and some people get boils, colds or headaches after a serious burst of anger or hatred toward someone. Rage can even trigger a heart attack. When you look for a person's flaws and point them out to others, this critical tendency creates distance between you and others, and makes you feel bad in the process As an exercise, reverse this tendency of looking for flaws, and look for a person's good points. Be generous with your compliments and praise toward others, and you'll notice a more favorable...
Do your suboptimal voices dominate your thinking process You can accept them, learn from them, and optimize them. Acknowledging and resolving your destructive negative voice is necessary for a healthy self-concept. Embracing and optimizing your other suboptimal voices is your commitment to your highest level of self-esteem. OptiSelf You lack confidence in your ability to resolve conflicts. What's the most important thing that you can keep in mind to optimize your skills at resolving conflicts What's the best thing you can do to optimize your self-confidence
In addition to good mental and physical nutrition, you need to get plenty of rest. Vince Lombardi, the legendary Green Bay Packers football coach, once said, Fatigue doth make cowards of us all. When you are not getting enough rest, you are far more likely to be negative, irritable, and lacking in self-confidence.
7) Enhancing of psychohygenic conditions focuses concentration, while a musical background relaxes, resulting in increased recall and long-term memory. Special attention is given to offer strong self-esteem building messages on all Paraliminal Tapes. The music is especially written and arranged to create optimal mental concentration. 10) Success in learning heightens self-concepts and promotes personal adjustment and self-confidence. The increments of progress in learning are kept reasonable to ensure success with each listening.
Make it your business to talk Optimally to yourself at any given moment. Give OptiSelf, your highest self, complete freedom to optimize all your suboptimal voices. By using Optimal affirmations you can create an emotional climate of supreme self-confidence, where your most positive feelings can flourish. Here are some examples
During this period, something amazing happened. She became a new person completely. All the attention in the hospital and afterward made her feel valuable, important, and truly loved by her family. The attention and acclaim she received from members of the medical profession built her self-esteem and self-respect even higher. She became a genuinely positive, confident, outgoing woman, highly articulate, well informed, and very much in demand as a speaker and authority in the medical profession.
Vittoz advises practicing control on little everyday activities. If these activities are really well done, patients will feel more in control, calmer and more rational. Since the brain is always occupied with something definite, persons become progressively less anxious. Their self confidence grows, and they get into the habit of being in control.
Self-esteem and self-efficacy are flip sides of the same coin of personality. You can genuinely like and respect yourself only when you know, deep in your heart, that you are really good at what you do. A sense of personal mastery is absolutely essential to the healthy human personality. Every single thing that you do in an excellent fashion boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel better about yourself. It makes you feel even more confident of performing at even higher levels. The higher your self-esteem, the more powerful, positive, and determined you will become. The more you like yourself, the more willing you will be to take chances, to step out in faith, and to persist longer than anyone else. The better you become in your chosen field, the stronger and more confident you will become in every other part of your life as well.
Some people were abused and abandoned by their parents, and are carrying thick scars of emotional deprivation. Some suffered intolerable rejection when they did not comply with their parents' wishes. If you didn't learn that you are essentially valuable and lovable, you may still depend on others to define your value. Fear of rejection is a direct consequence of not defining your own value and lovability. By seeking external definition, you are at tremendous risk of further rejection. When you experience rejection from others, you are personally affected in direct proportion to your self-esteem.
Regain an Agile Brain, and 7, Enjoy Your Ageless Mental Agility, address these issues and provide you with many, many suggestions and activities to improve your mental acuity. You will learn and practice specific and detailed strategies to increase your education, keep you physically fit, increase your self-esteem, and keep you mentally fit. The younger you are when you begin to apply these strategies, the better off you will be.13
Understand that all factors are interrelated too, so if you improve one, the others must also improve. For instance, if you are nutrition oriented, beginning a diet of raw organic vegetables will increase your energy level, and in turn you'll also begin noticing improvement in your breathing, your posture, your emotions and the music you prefer. If you are exercise oriented, beginning a daily routine of good exercise and deep belly breathing will increase your energy level too, and in turn your nutrition, your emotions and your posture will tend to improve as well Exercise also works well with children having a low self-esteem. Statistics have shown that creating basketball courts or gymnasiums in poverty stricken neighborhoods lowers crime and drug addiction in those neighborhoods.
In the brain, persistent negative memories are thought to be mediated by the amygdala and other limbic areas that respond to fear, anxiety, and emotionally charged information. Several types of psychiatric disorders involve persistent, negative memories. Depression and persistent negative thoughts are linked in a vicious cycle as the depressed person ruminates over real or imagined unpleasant events, his or her self-esteem erodes and the dysphoric mood deepens.
Problems like a lack of self confidence and other types of complexes disappeared, often in the weeks following an operation, allowing a new, more fulfilled personality to emerge. To become a great plastic surgeon, Maltz felt he had to operate on a patient's immaterial face, in the same way as he operated on physical features. He became convinced that people developed a powerful mental or spiritual self image. If he could find some way of modifying this self image, he could radically transform a patient's personality. He asked a number of psychologists about the concept of self image. How was it formed What physiological processes were involved Why was it so important And most importantly, how could it be modified
When you set high standards for yourself, your self-esteem and self-respect increase. When you decide that you are going to live consistently with your highest values and your deepest convictions, you feel wonderful about yourself. When you become completely honest, you stop compromising yourself in your relationships with oth-ers.You speak sincerely to everyone with whom you live and work. You practice absolute truthfulness with yourself and others. The more honest you are with yourself, the greater courage and self-confidence you will have. You will become more positive and enthusiastic about yourself. You will develop a tremendous feeling of inner power and personal strength. The more you live consistently with the very highest values you know, the finer your character will become. Eventually, you will reach the point where you are absolutely unstoppable
What I have found in my many years of research into philosophy and psychology is that only people who are genuinely good inside can be happy for any period of time. And in my years of study of the foundation qualities of self-confidence, I have found that only men and women with clear, positive values are able to develop the kind of unshakable self-confidence that makes it possible for them to deal effectively with anything that happens to them. The fastest way for you to build or to regain your self-confidence is to become absolutely clear about your deepest values and convictions, and then begin to live by them. The solution to almost all
The way you short-circuit the natural tendency toward justification and rationalization is by refusing to engage in it. Instead, you stop justifying. You use your marvelous mind to think of reasons not to justify your negative emotions. Remember, your negative emotions do you no good. They are totally destructive. They do not affect the other person or change the situation. They simply undermine your happiness and self-confidence, making you weaker and less effective in other areas of your life.
In Abraham Maslow's studies of self-actualizing people, those 1 or 2 percent of men and women who are fully mature, fully functioning adults, he found a particular quality that they all had in common They were completely honest with themselves. They were objective and clear about their own strengths and weaknesses. They did not hope or pretend that they were other than they were. This self-acceptance was a foundation stone of their self-esteem and self-respect.
The more you learn, the more you earn. The more knowledgeable you become about your field, the more courage and confidence you will have to implement your skills in your work. The more courage and confidence you develop, the higher will be your self-esteem and your sense of personal power. You will become virtually unstoppable in everything you do.
But not in the touchy-feely 1980s sense of giving yourself permission to be your best self, although you certainly had better be doing that. True empowerment means giving yourself the understanding and resources to make major contributions to your industry, your company, and your self-worth.