Into The Fray Of Mindlining

In "Mind-Lines Teasing" section at the beginning of this book, we ran a mind-lining on the theme of "not accomplishing a goal meaning 'failure.'" Now with your fuller acquaintance with the Mind-tinesModel, feel free to revisit that original tease. We believe you will find it much richer and impactful.

Here we have added numerous other examples of mind-lining. In the year since Mind-Lines first appeared, people from around the world have used these as a model for creating all kinds of new neuro-linguistic magic in business, personal relationships, marketing, management, education, therapy, sports, etc.

Twenty Ways to Reframe "Learning Difficulty"

The Toxic Thought: "I can't leam these mind-lines because they involve too much complexity about the structure of the language patterns."

Formula -the Toxic Magic "Too much complexity" = "I can't learn" EB= IS

1) Chunking Down

How do you know when to judge something as too "complex?" How do you represent "complex?" How do you know it exists as complexity and not just one layer of simple ideas upon another? How does the complexity stop you from learning altogether?

2) Reality Strategy Chunk Down

What leads you to first become aware of a complex subject? If you first see or say something to yourself, what do you then do? And what comes after that? How do you cue yourself that something has enough complexity to stop learning?

3) Reframe the EB

How interesting! What I really find as truly complex and difficult to learn are the chaotic "word salads" that a schizophrenic produces... trying to find order and structure in that—now I'd call that difficult!

4) Reframe the IS

The problem may seem like that you can't learn these language patterns, but don't you think that the real problem lies in how much effort you feel that you will have to expend to learn them? You can learn them, but the learning may not come as quickly and easily as you would like it too."

5) Reflexively Apply To Self

What? I don't understand. Why do you have to make such difficult and complex complaints? I just can't figure out what you really mean by these complicated complaints.

6) Reflexively Apply to Listener

Wow! That seems like a pretty complex analysis of your learning strategy! Where did you learn to think and reason in such a complex way?

7) Counter-Example Framing

So do you mean to tell me that you've never learned anything that once upon a time might have seemed complex to you? Somehow, the existence of complexity itself prevents you from learning?

8) Positive Prior Intentional Framing

How much awareness do you have that this belief about complexity protects you from failing to learn something new and exciting? And yet it also seems to protect you from taking on a mental challenge.

9) Positive Prior Causation Framing

So as you slow yourself down using this belief that complexity stops you from learning, it sounds like it enables you to move into new learning situations cautiously without tormenting yourself with high expectations that you need to learn too quickly or easily...

10) First Outcome

So if you use this belief and let it run your life, next year you will make no further progress in learning these language patterns. How does that settle for you in terms of your communication and persuasion skills?

11) Outcome of Outcome

As you imagine not learning anything about these mind-lines by next year, and remaining unskilled in them again the following year—whatoutcome will that lack of progress lead to? What will result from getting that result?

12) Eternity Framing

When you imagine stepping into eternity as you leave this world, and think about having backed off from learning—and especially from learning things that would improve your communication skills, how much do you think you will have missed out on life, relationships, and effectiveness by having let that complexity belief run your life?

13) Model of the World Framing

How interesting to posit learning as dependent upon complexity. Do you know where you got this map? From what experience did you map that difficult or layered subjects somehow prevent you from learning? How does it strike you when you realize that this merely comprises a map and not the territory? t4) Criteria/Value Framing

When you think about your value of growing and developing as a human being—how much more important does it feel to you when you think of the time and trouble you might need to take to learn a complex subject?

15) Allness Framing

Since everybody has encountered complex information at some time, does that mean that they cannot or should not attempt to learn such? Would you recommend this belief to other people? What would happen if everybody on the planet adopted this belief about complexity and learning?

16) Have-To Framing

What would it feel like if you did not operate from this belief that complexity stops or hinders learning?

17) Identity Framing

As you think about yourself as a learner, you certainly can think about some things that you have learned, piece by piece, and have learned so well, that when others look at it, they may conclude that you know some pretty complex things. What does that say about you?

18) Other Abstractions

How do you know that you should label this or that subject as "complex" and not just the next step in learning? What if you discovered that learning complexity actually involves the same mental processes as learning the foundational principles of a field? What if you discover that your labeling of a subject as having "complexity" itself creates the difficulty?

19) Ecology Framing

As you think about believing that you can't learn complex things, how well does that belief serve you? Does it enhance your life? Does it increa'se your motivation and drive for learning? Does it increase your resilience? Would you recommend this belief to others?

20) Metaphoring/Storying and Restorying Framing

When I first saw a Hebrew text of the Bible, I thought, 'This is really a complex language. I don't know if I will ever learn this.' Then I began to think about the children born to parents who speak Hebrew and how that they just grow up with that language, and that they learn it with as much ease and effectiveness as children in other language environments learn other languages.

Thinking about that made me realize the error in my conclusion about the so-called difficulty of Hebrew. I then realized that Hebrew isn't complex as much as simply different from what I already knew. So as I began at the beginning, I first learned the shape and names of the Hebrew letters. I learned a little bit here and a little bit more there and eventually I gained a level of competency that I could read a page of a text. Yet what previously would have seemed so complex now seemed natural and easy—a piece of cake!

the picture of confrontation look like, sound like? How loud do you code the words in a confrontation? What referent f Twenty Ways to Reframe Confrontation

The Toxic Thought: "I really dread confrontation. It makes me feel anxious and scared. Confrontation never solves anything, it only turns people against each other and it ruins relationships. That's why it is bad."

Formula-the Toxic Magic

"Confrontation" = "Anxiety, fear" "Directly saying words" = Conflict, "bad."

|H) Chunking Down

How do you specifically think about confrontation? How big do you picture yourself in relationship to others? What does

w experiences do you use? ¡I 2) Reality Strategy Chunk Down

How do you know to feel anxious or scared when you j picture a confrontation? Why not feel curious and excited to discover the differences as you fully listen to another's ^ viewpoint and then work out a win/win arrangement? |3) Reframe the EB

If you think conflict or confrontation ruins relationships, try s, not conflicting or confronting and creating resolutions.

& _ Then, one day something will occur that will come as "the last straw" so that one of the person's can't take anymore, then, "out of the blue" that one event will seemingly ruin the relationship, f4) Reframe the IS

Yes, speaking up and expressing your ideas can feel scary, but what really evokes anxiety for me involves not speaking up or surfacing concerns while small and manageable, but letting problems fester until they become large and unmanageable! [8) Reflexively Apply To Self

I feel so very anxious right now, and fearful, as you say ^ those words. Bringing this up will destroy our relationship!

,:..< 6) Reflexively Apply to Listener

So if T bring up anything to you, you have to feel anxious and scared, and think it will ruin things between us? This means you would prefer that I walk on egg-shells in your presence and not relate to you in an authentic or real way?

7) Counter-Example Framing

Thank you for this confrontation—I really appreciate this. I will use this disclosure of yours to relate to you with sensitivity about how things could go awry or hurt your feelings. Just think what might have happened if you hadn't confronted me about this!

8) Positive Prior Intentional Framing

So in learning to feel anxiety and fear, you probably use those feelings to come across to people in a more gentle way. And I just wonder what other ways you have also found, or could find, that would further allow you to incorporate gentleness into your confrontations?

9) Positive Prior Causation Framing

So your feelings of fear and anxiety makes you hold back from harsh criticism when things violate your values. I wonder if this concern for avoiding hurt can also cause you to develop other effective conflict avoidances?

10) First Outcome

When you think about how you have walked on tip-toes over egg-shells with lots of people, and never expressed your values and perceptions—how do you like the consequences that result from that?

11) Outcome of Outcome

When you think about the way people may take advantage of your non-confrontational style and may use intimidation to get their way because they know you won't speak up for yourself—how do you like the consequences that may result from that consequence?

12) Eternity Framing

When you look back on your life and see how you couldn't speak up for yourself and how you backed off from every conflict and disagreement because of your belief about confrontation, and you see how you over-cared about what people thought of you—how celebrativewill you feel about that legacy or about not having lived with self-integrity?

13) Model of the World Framing

Who taught you to think about confrontation in this way? Do you think you should adopt this belief as your model of the world? Do you know anyone else who has a different perspective that seems to enable them to produce more productive responses?

14) Criteria/Value Framing

You obviously value peacemaking and harmony—yet I wonder how honesty, true self-disclosure, and indepth communication with loved ones play with, and into, your value of conflict avoidance?

15)Allness Framing

Suppose everybody thought and felt anxiety and fear in bringing up things to others... would you recommend this style of communication? Would you think it would make the world go better?

16) Have-To Framing What would it feel like if you did not believe that you had to equate confrontation with negative encounters? What would you have to think to view it in terms of playfulness, lightness, curiosity, and resourcefulness?

17) Identity Framing

As you think of yourself as a person with thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and as someone who can express yourself honestly —suppose you imagined the You who did that with dignity, grace, and effectiveness?

18) Other Abstractions How interesting that you view confrontation in this manner—do you also view communication in a similar way? What about honest expression of one's viewpoint?

.9) Ecology Framing

How well does this belief serve you? How well does it make your life function to equate confrontation with negative relational consequences? How well does it enhance your life for honest communication with those that you love?

0) Metaphoring/Storying and Restorying Framing

Having just started to work there, I really didn't know all the ins-and-outs of the business. That became really evident the day that I started to load the truck. I had observed the others loading so I assumed that I knew how to do it. I jumped in the big truck and backed it up to the dock.

Then I began the loading. Just then Jim came running up yelling... I couldn't tell what he was saying, but at first I felt humiliated that he would talk to me that way! Who did he think he was anyway?? As he got closer I heard him yell, "Get the emergency brakes set! Jump back into the truck—the truck won't hold by itself!"

As I looked at the truck, I saw it beginning to move... slowly, ever so slowly... but moving. After I had the emergency brakes pulled I realized that if Jim hadn't noticed and yelled when he did, the truck would have rolled through the glass window at the bottom of the hill and through a daycare center. Thank God he had the courage to yell at me when he did!

Conclusion

Do you have a conceptual "problem," a way of looking at something, a phrase, belief, or statement from another person bugging the daylights out of you? Then don't just stand there looking at your magic wand—wave it for all its worth!

Run the "problem" through these reframing patterns.

Recently, I (MH) have been paid to consult with a business consultant regarding some of his really big clients (Fortune 500 businesses). He would provide the belief statements and "idea" statements that the antagonists to the company would use in their debates, press conferences, and court hearings to oppose and contradict and try to stop other companies from doing their business.

Once we had the "problem" in hand, we began to play. We played with the idea, tearing it to pieces (deframing), giving it new meanings (content reframing), and then outframing it every which way but loose!

Frequently, when we started, we both had a stunned sense of feeling both stuck and hopeless. "What in the world can you say to that?!" But in every single case, by the time we finished zapping the line with our magic—we felt a certain touch of ferociousness, "Give me another one! Bring it on! Let me have at it!"

And you can too.

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