7What I Dislike Most about Myself

I am overly critical of myself and others. Minimize by accepting this affirm I now focus on what's right with myself and others. I criticize only when I am interested in finding the best solution to the problem. I can't cook. Minimize by accepting this start using every opportune moment in the kitchen to maximize my cooking skills. Take cooking lessons. When Anne completed her list of actions to correct her weaknesses, she again noticed that her weaknesses were more specific than her strengths....

Depression

When you suffer pain and loss and do not express and resolve your feelings of helplessness, hurt, anger, and grief, you will eventually experience depression. For instance, when you lose your source of income or realize that your spouse doesn't love you, you can feel gloomy, dejected, weary, miserable, hopeless, defeated, despairing, tormented, exhausted, and even suicidal. When you are depressed, you tend to focus on losses, your inner emptiness, unfulfilled dreams, and problems. You may...

The Value of Emotions

Your emotional life is a natural and sacred part of you. Your feelings are direct responses to your perception. They signal whether your experiences are pleasurable or painful. When you acknowledge your feelings, you are in touch with your humanity, and when you honor them, you demonstrate self-respect. You can take the wisest actions to minimize your troublesome feelings when you take responsibility for creating them. Embracing vulnerability is your path to wholeness. Your emotions are...

Alpha Self Hypnosis

When you slow down your brain wave activity to a frequency of eight to thirteen cycles per second, you enter a hypnotic state of relaxed receptivity called the Alpha state. Once you are in Alpha, you can access your subconscious mind and empower your highest self. You begin by imagining yourself completely calm, relaxed, and peaceful as you visualize the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Next, slowly count down from twenty-one to zero, and feel the relaxation spread...

Streamof Consciousness Writing

In stream-of-consciousness writing, you express whatever comes to mind. It doesn't matter what you write, how you express yourself, or how long it takes. You simply write two or three pages each and every day in your notebook. You might release a stream of anger, a stream of hurt, then suddenly, you will be aware of a current of joy. Your inner critic may rule for a while, and then without warning, love will find its way through you. As you express your authentic self on paper without judging...

Forgiveness

When you harbor a grudge against yourself or those who have hurt you, you nurture your anger and hurt and prevent its resolution. You are actually punishing yourself. By exercising forgiveness, you relieve yourself of the burden of carrying the hurt, anger, pain, and loneliness. You relinquish your grievance and consequently your grief and healing occurs. This does not mean that you condone or are legitimizing the hurtful behavior, or that you have reestablished a comparable level of trust with...

Negative Thinking

Do you sometimes find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, about others, or about circumstances Is your focus on what's wrong, on limitations, or on destructive viewpoints Although negative thinking is often detrimental and scorned by many in society today, it is valuable. Negative thinking enables us to define and express our vulnerability, integrate trauma, and grieve the meaningful losses in our lives. It also warns us of imminent danger. Negative thinking cautions us against...

Self Confidence

Do you feel confident in your day-to-day life Do you feel that you have what it takes to create what you want You can maximize your self-confidence by resolving your fears and focusing on what you do best. When you give yourself credit for what you do best, you will create an environment for optimizing your feelings. You can then decide how to make the most of your talents, assets, and accomplishments. Remember to always reinforce your accomplishments and triumphs by appreciating and...

Do Your Best

Sheldon said, Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly. Even when life deals you its hardest blows and it rains on your parade, don't deny your feelings Embrace them as sacred messengers, and let your highest self take care of them. Let OptiSelf make the most of every situation Attempt, as much as possible, to do your best in what you most want to do. When you do your best in every circumstance, you inevitably feel your best. Your body, mind, and soul are in the...

Rate Your Level of Thinking

The following questionnaire will help you identify your dominant level of thinking. You may choose to write your answers in the book itself. If you'd rather write your answers on a separate piece of paper, this may be the perfect time to start your Optimal Journal. You might like to view this book and your journal entries as a private conversation between you and me. As you read through Optimal Thinking, you will optimize your thinking and behavior. You can record your Optimal Action Steps,...

Use Optimal Affirmations

Optimal affirmations are first-person, present-tense, Optimal statements you implant in your mind to affirm the best results. They are verbal act as if . . . creative statements. When you have decided which Optimal affirmations you wish to integrate, you can write them repeatedly in your notebook. Be sure to jot down and resolve your unsupportive responses. You can also create other visual reminders. You can meditate on them, sing them, or record them on a cassette tape to listen to whenever...

Wishful Thinking versus Optimal Realism

Does wishful thinking impact you in the workplace Brian, a property management and real estate investment business owner, knew that the industrial market was softening. An industrial tenant who was leasing space at market rate was complaining that he had too much space. Brian knew that if they lost the tenant, the space would remain vacant for some time. He estimated a cost of seventy thousand dollars to the company if this occurred. He wanted to make an interim deal below market rate with the...

Identify Your Career Purpose

My mom said, 'In your 20s you try it all. In your 30s you figure out what you do best. In your 40's you make money from what you do best. In your 50s you just do do what you want to do.' The following questions helped me to recognize my ultimate career purpose. By answering them, you will learn about your career calling. You will discover where you are headed and why, and where to focus your energies and best efforts. Use your notebook to access previous answers and to explore new information....

Normas Story

Here's an example of how life can change when you get rid of self-limiting core beliefs. When Norma's mother abandoned her at five years of age, she decided that there must be something wrong with her. She then spent six happy years in a foster home before her mother took her back against Norma's wishes. As a result, Norma concluded that she couldn't have what she wanted. Her mother struggled to make ends meet and often told Norma that aspiring for the best things in life will only lead to...

Fear of Success

Many people fear the changes that can accompany success. They fear that their success will be gained at someone else's expense or that they might grow away from family and friends and end up alone. They may fear public scrutiny, disapproval, and jealousy. They may be terrified of the unknown. Some people fill their environment with clutter or become ill in an attempt to thwart their own success. Recently I chatted with a business owner who told me that he was reluctant to have his personal name...

2 Positive Thinking Is Often No More Than Wishful Thinking

In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale stated Expect the best at all times. Never think of the worst. Drop it out of your thought, relegate it. Let there be no thought in your mind that the worst will happen. You can overcome any obstacle. You can achieve the most tremendous things by faith power. Many positive thinkers believe that their dreams will be realized by a magical, divine process that is triggered by the intensity of their hopes, wishes, and faith. They approach life...

How to Optimize Your Feelings

The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. Many people wrongly believe that their best feelings are derived from external sources. They believe that if they get love, affection, understanding, or respect from another person, they will be happy. These people do not understand that their best feelings are generated from within. Does your happiness depend on something that is out of your...

7What I Like Most about Myself

Optimize by appreciating this asset daily affirm I am an Optimal Thinker. I am now optimizing my mental attractiveness. I am the most inspiring person I can possibly be. When Anne wrote her list of action steps to optimize her assets, she identified, in order of priority, the actions that would have the most beneficial effect on her self-confidence and self-respect. She identified the specific actions necessary to experience herself at her best. Here is the...

Optimal Conflict Resolution

When you acknowledge and resolve conflict correctly, you minimize differences and optimize mutual understanding. You make the most constructive decisions and reduce drama and crises in your life. To resolve any conflict, willingness by those involved is essential. The objective of the two-way Optimal conflict resolution process is to find the best solution for all concerned. When you resolve conflicts with Optimal communication, the best interests of all are considered and the best solution...

Recall Optimal Emotional Experiences

Can you recall a place, time, or circumstance where you felt your very best Optimal Thinkers often remind themselves of their most empowering experiences. They can recall numerous experiences when they assessed situations accurately and made Optimal choices in life-changing situations. Each time you recall your most pleasur able experiences, you reinforce your highest emotional state. Be sure to maximize the light, color, sound, and action of your peak emotional experiences Jim, a race-car...

Identify Your Life Purpose

Jack was happily married and loved his thirteen-year-old son very much. He enjoyed the benefits of family life while accepting its obligations. He wanted to provide the best things in life for his family and worked hard to make a fine living. However, ever since he had entered the video production business, he had often misrepresented the facts to gain new accounts. He felt bad about his lack of integrity. He hated having to bend the truth to make a living. Jack desperately wanted to optimize...

Negativity

At AnyBiz, the corporate motto is Think positive Positive thinking is revered. Negative thinking is considered inferior and may even be scorned. A positive thinker may feel miserable about the progress of an important project, but puts on a happy face at the office. Burdened with unresolved thoughts and feelings, he or she compromises morale and productivity. Such a positive thinker typically discounts input from those who are labeled negative thinkers. Negative comments are suppressed with...

Right Brain Decisions

Charles Garfield shares his research on the world's top athletes and several successful businesspeople. His findings show that nearly all use their right brains to visualize desired end results. They see, feel, and experience every detail of what they want before they take action. You can use your right brain to get in touch with what the best means to you. Try the following visualization Picture yourself involved in an activity in which you feel totally resourceful,...

Verbalize Your Emotions to Other Optimal Thinkers

Talking rationally about, for example, your fear or anger (instead of displaying it) tends to demonstrate self-confidence and self-control. You put your highest self in charge when you say This is how I feel about the problem. I believe this is the best way to resolve it. What's your input on how to most effectively deal with it When you honor your feelings, apply Optimal Thinking to make the best of them, and assess what is in your best interest before taking action, you demonstrate the most...

Respond With Optimal Reflection

When you employ reflective listening, you restate the feeling or the meaning of the communication (or both) in a way that demonstrates understanding and nonjudgment. By rephrasing the message and restating it to the other person, you verify that the message has been received without distortion. You can encourage other people to discover their own best solutions using Optimal questions like What's the best thing you can do about that , What's your best option Here are some examples. Suzanne was...

The Value of a Life Purpose

For the past six years Stephen, a successful businessman, has been living with a woman he doesn't love. He can't summon the courage to end the relationship. Stephen drinks heavily at night. It's better than the feeling of emptiness I experience when I'm sober, he rationalizes. Rhonda enjoys her role as a devoted mother. Since her two children moved out of the house, she feels a big gap in her life. She tries to keep herself busy. Rhonda has many friends and is invited to numerous social events....

Your Self Esteem

How would you describe your self-esteem Do you have low, average, high, or Optimal self-esteem Take some time now to jot down your thoughts and feelings about yourself. When Anne wrote how she felt about herself in the paragraph below, she realized she wavered in her liking for herself. Sometimes I like myself and feel good. At other times, I dislike myself and feel inadequate. I guess I have average self-esteem. I seem to have extraordinarily high self-esteem when it comes to my work and...

Which Optimal Affirmations Will Be Most Helpful in Accomplishing Your Supreme Goal

Optimal self-talk is an Optimal verbal application of act as if. Many Optimal Thinkers use the following declaration I am now taking the best action to accomplish my most important goal. Some prefer to mention the benefits of achieving their goal. The following affirmations will help you make the best use of your time I am making the most profitable use of my time right now. My fastest route to success is my Optimal plan. I give everything I have to attain my most important goal. I am doing the...

Fear of Rejection

Some people were abused and abandoned by their parents, and are carrying thick scars of emotional deprivation. Some suffered intolerable rejection when they did not comply with their parents' wishes. If you didn't learn that you are essentially valuable and lovable, you may still depend on others to define your value. Fear of rejection is a direct consequence of not defining your own value and lovability. By seeking external definition, you are at tremendous risk of further rejection. When you...

No man is a failure who is enjoying life

Many people spend their lives looking for love instead of recognizing that love is where they are coming from. They don't believe that giving themselves the love they need and sharing it with others are more valuable than getting love. When you give love to yourself and others without calculation or expectation of anything in return, you experience feelings of joy, love, confidence, and trust in your life. Giving is then truly the expression of love. Your highest possible feeling of love is the...

1 Positive Thinking Is Often Used to Suppress Negativity

Many positive thinkers often judge, suppress, and ignore negativity. They want to hear the good news only and alienate themselves from any negative thoughts or feelings. Such positive thinkers may have many concerns about their financial situation but choose to ignore them. You have probably heard these people say, I don't want to hear any negativity They do not want to face the truth. By alienating themselves from negativity, they sacrifice authenticity, vulnerability, wholeness, and intimacy....

New Optimal Paradigm

Most organizations consist of management and employees. Managers usually demonstrate good people skills and are expected to manage the job functions of their employees. Extraordinary managers base their decisions and directives on extraordinary positive thinking, whereas moderately competent managers primarily employ mediocre positive thinking. Good employees simply employ their managers' directives effectively. The dominant thinking and work environment are usually suboptimal. Are you willing...

Optimal Forward Planning

You need to know where you are if you want to use a map to help you to arrive at a chosen destination. Only when you know where you stand now do you have the basis for determining exactly where you want to go and how to get there. In the forward planning process you start from where you are. You move forward as far as you can see, and when you arrive at that point, you look farther. You write down your SUPREME goals in order of priority and then move into action. You continually ask yourself,...

Overpowered by Emotions

Anita and Lionel were intensely attracted to each other some ten years ago. Anita had suffered tremendous hurt when Lionel later rejected her now, suddenly, he was in her life again. When she heard his voice again for the first time, her heart pounded violently and she struggled to speak articulately. Within a few minutes she was mindlessly snacking even though she wasn't hungry. Have you ever had feelings that were threatening to your sense of security It's not the presence of emotions that...

Write Down Your Supreme Goals

The results of a 1973 survey revealed some enlightening information about the value of written goals. In 1953, a group of graduating students at Yale University was asked a series of questions, which included, Have you set clear, specific goals for your life Have you written them down and have you made plans to accomplish them Of those interviewed, 3 percent had written down their goals and formulated specific plans to attain them. Twenty years later the surviving members of that class were...

4 Suboptimal Thinking Is Not the Mental Basis of Peak Performance

You may ask What is peak performance Many professionals claim that if we think positively display courage, persistence, and self-reliance and use their suggested techniques for setting goals, managing time, and relating to others, then we will achieve peak performance. Such qualities and techniques are certainly constructive ingredients for success, but what is essential for peak performance is peak or Optimal Thinking. We cannot function at our peak when we think in suboptimal terms. Whenever...

Five Optimal Questions to Start Your

Imagine yourself starting each day with five Optimal questions, such as 1. What is supremely important to me 2. What are my most important goals today 3. Which actions will be most beneficial for my self-confidence and self-respect today 4. What will make each task today most profitable beneficial enjoyable 5. What is the most constructive use of my time right now Now, write down five Optimal questions to answer every morning. The answers will stimulate you to make the most of your life

Rate Your Self Esteem Purpose and Goals

The following questionnaire will enable you to assess your self-esteem, purpose, and goals. Simply circle the number that best describes your thoughts about yourself and your current situation. Then add your score. 3 Always 1 Reasonably or sometimes 2 Usually or often 0 Rarely or never 1. I am confident that I can enjoy the best in life. 2. I feel competent to deal with my life. 3. I accept all parts of my personality. 4. I am comfortable expressing my thoughts, 7. I can rely on myself to make...

What Is Optimal Thinking

Wisdom denotes the pursuit of the best ends by the best means. Have any of these thoughts ever crossed your mind I deserve the best in life. How can I make the most of this situation I'm taking the smartest actions toward my most important goal. What's the most constructive use of my time right now If you entertain such thoughts, please welcome yourself into the Optimal Thinking community. Optimal Thinking is the language of your highest self. It empowers you to be your best and stops you from...

Optimal Affirmations

Make it your business to talk Optimally to yourself at any given moment. Give OptiSelf, your highest self, complete freedom to optimize all your suboptimal voices. By using Optimal affirmations you can create an emotional climate of supreme self-confidence, where your most positive feelings can flourish. Here are some examples I love myself unconditionally. I take the best actions to resolve my disturbing feelings. I feel my best when I do my best. I am completely capable of making myself...

Suboptimal Communication

All of us have experienced the frustration of ineffective communication. You have, I'm sure, participated in conversations where one party gained at another's expense. You have felt manipulated in some of your communications. You may have manipulated others. You have shared your heart, only to discover that the other person didn't care. Divorces, broken hearts, disappointing careers, and broken dreams can all result from ineffective attempts to relate to others. During the past two decades,...

Powe Of Positive Radiant Thinking

Transforming Leadership From Vision to Results. Alexandria, Va. Miles River Press, 1986. Badaracco, Joseph L., and Richard R. Ellsworth. Leadership and the Quest for Integrity. Boston Harvard Business School Press, 1989. Ban Breathnach, Sarah. The Simple Abundance Companion Following Your Authentic Path to Something More. New York Warner Books, 2000. Bandler, Richard, and John Grinder. Frogs into Princes. New York People Press, 1979. Bilodeau, Lorraine. The Anger Workbook. New...

Fear of Pain

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give Most parents do their best to shield their young children against pain. Sometimes, however, they protect themselves from their own pain by stopping the children from expressing theirs. We grow up afraid of pain and develop defenses to protect us from experiencing it. Have you ever been hurt and then stopped risking because you were afraid of more pain You cannot eliminate pain in life, but you can minimize it by learning what hurts...

Mental Wavelengths

No doubt you have experienced different levels of thinking in your work situation. At AnyBiz, the employees are on different mental wavelengths. Let's listen in on a conversation between two line managers at AnyBiz who are selecting a candidate for promotion. If you were top management, which candidate would you choose Mediocre Mary We need a new manager. John is a good person and could become a good manager. Extraordinary Ed John is a good worker, but I think Steven would be an outstanding...

Which Optimal Visualizations Will Be Most Helpful in Accomplishing Your Supreme Goal

Colonel Harvey Johnson was an enthusiastic golfer whose score was consistently around 90. He stopped playing golf for eight years. The next time he played eighteen holes of golf, he shot a 75. For those eight years Colonel Johnson had been a prisoner of war in Vietnam, isolated from others that whole time. Initially he feared for his sanity but after a few months he decided to take total control of his mind. He set a SUPREME goal to achieve a score of 75 when he next played eighteen holes of...

Discomfort

Discomfort alerts you that something is wrong. This uneasy feeling may be experienced as apathy, impatience, boredom, embarrassment, tension, or confusion. When you judge or deny aspects of your personality, you will most likely feel discomfort. Discomfort informs that you need to change your thinking and behavior and create what is right for you. Your journey to wholeness requires that you embrace all facets of your multifaceted nature without judgment. When you accept all the different...

Visualize Your Best Self

Your imagination is the preview to life's coming attractions. Our minds can't easily distinguish between what we visualize and what we actually experience. Many experiments support this. One well-known experiment by psychologists involved a number of men divided into three groups. One group practiced basketball every day, the second mentally visualized themselves practicing, and the third the control group did neither. The study found that the men who physically practiced and those who mentally...

Optimal Reverse Planning

In the reverse planning process, you break down your most compelling dreams and SUPREME goals into realistic action steps. You begin by listing your Optimal dreams and goals. Dreams are desires that do not have a clear series of steps attached to their fulfillment. Never judge or discount dreams they are real and meaningful to you. They become goals when you can clearly define the specific actions necessary to achieve them. Because impulsively set and casually entertained goals are often...