The fourth and final person you have to forgive is yourself'.You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless, or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with you. That was then and this is now.
Think of it this way: When you did those things in the past that you still feel badly about, you were not the person you are today. At that time, you were a different person, younger and less experienced. You were not your true self. You were an immature version of the person you have become with experience. Stop beating yourself up for something that occurred in the past that you cannot change.
In psychotherapy, when a person feels burdened with a deep sense of guilt or shame as the result of a childhood trauma, the cathartic moment comes when he or she suddenly realizes, "It's not my fault." Sometimes you did things, or things were done to you, when you were too young or inexperienced to know what was going on or to change the situation. It was not your fault. You did the best you could. You are okay. Forgive yourself and let yourself off the hook.
Just say, "I forgive myself for every mistake I ever made. I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to have a wonderful future." Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, "I forgive myself completely." And then get on with your life. Focus on the future rather than the past. Look at where you are going rather than where you have been.
Finally, if you did something that hurt someone, and you still feel badly about it, you can go to that person, or write, and apologize. Tell the person you are sorry for what you did or said. Whatever his or her reaction, positive or negative, it doesn't matter. The very act of repentance, of expressing regret, will set you free.
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Reality is the beginning precept of personal growth. We mainly grow as humans by discovering new realities about ourselves and our world. You'll surely learn some crucial lessons regardless how you live, but you are able to speed up your growth hugely by consciously looking for truth and intentionally rejecting untruth and denial. This book will provide insight to the reality mindset.