Exercise 40 Resolve Disputes In Your Favor

When emotions reign supreme, logic takes a back seat. Rarely do people argue logically. They usually argue emotionally and later they often regret it. When this happens, take advantage of it.

In this exercise, you use your logical mind to resolve a dispute in your favor. First learn what not to do in an argument:

1) Don't force your will on another person.

2) Don't tell the other person he is wrong.

3) Don't order the other person to shut up and listen.

4) Don't dazzle the other person with your brilliance.

5) Don't seek someone else to side with you against the other person. Instead, do this:

1) State your viewpoint in a calm and moderate manner.

2) Assume a non-arrogant stance to disarm the other person.

3) Express a note of doubt about your own viewpoint by admitting that you might be mistaken. This halts the other person's blind opposition to your viewpoint.

4) Since you're not jamming your opinion down the other person's throat, he is now willing to see your position.

5) He now looks at your opinion rationally and begins to see the truth in it.

6) And finally, after having saved face, he argues your side of the case and shows you how your doubts are unwarranted.

Now you are armed with the technique. Practice it as a daily exercise to command greater skill in handling people. It just takes practice.

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