Exercise 3 Defusing Negative Emotional States

Some of you have anchors (words, pictures, actions, etc.) that trigger you into automatic anger or vindictive states of mind. By rewiring these anchors, your undesirable states can be defused and controlled, and more constructive options can be accessed from your mind. For instance, since most people eat out of habit instead of need, you can rewire such programming in your brain through the use of anchors. Don't assume that such habits are beyond your control. Get conscious of the process at work here, so you can replace unwanted anchors with new stimulus/response linkages that thrust you directly into the state that you desire. By being aware of your states as they come and go throughout the day, you can begin to change much of your undesirable behavior.

Some people stay in unwanted states longer than others, but recognizing and monitoring such states is the first step in implementing a counteracting state of mind. If you don't recognize a state as undesirable, you have no reason to change it. Next, you must also decide what triggering anchors elicited this unwanted state. Was it a word, a person's expression, a tone of voice, a thought, a song, a touch or even a taste or an odor? Oftentimes neurological anchors are set up at the peak of a negative emotional experience without your realizing it! For instance, suppose you and your girlfriend were robbed on the street by a thief. After the episode, the extreme anger you both expressed over the incident while looking at each other in a certain way could easily get anchored unintentionally. Then the next time you went out, you looked at each other that same way, and you experienced the same anger again. Suddenly your relationship changed, and you never connected up the anchor as being remotely responsible.

To defuse unwanted states, you must create anchors for positive states to replace them. For instance, suppose your dog was just killed by a car in front of your eyes. At the very peak of your mixed emotions of shock, anger, horror and sorrow over the loss of your pet, someone gently clutches your left shoulder in sympathy. A few days later, a friend at the office comes up to you to ask your advice and again clutches your left shoulder. Suddenly you revert into the same mixed emotions of shock, anger, horror and sorrow you experienced over the loss of your dog. Your friend is nonplused over your reaction, and you are beside yourself for the rest of the afternoon. Solution: Recognize the anchoring device that triggered your response, the left shoulder clutch. This time fire off your anchor for confidence at the same time you ask your friend to clutch your left shoulder again. Your brain circuitry will then have a choice of two conflicting states. Invariably the positive state will overshadow the negative or they will cancel each other out. Repeat the process a couple times, then test the left shoulder clutch for results.

When you can recognize and eliminate the trigger mechanisms that produce your negative and unresourceful states, you can install successful, positive ones to replace them. Since certain words often serve as triggering anchors to undesirable states (fear, revulsion, anger, hatred, vindictiveness, etc.), look over the following list of words. Decide on the ones that create an adverse reaction in you.

dummy

asshole

coward

phony

spic

slut

faggot

honky

kike

whore

wimp

stupid

idiot

guinea

cunt

nigger

greaser

snatch

cancer

sleeze

wop

red neck

bitch

jerk

queer

pollack

spook

insecure

nazi

tit

insensitive

nitwit

shithead

bastard

dago

Now say one of the words that troubles you aloud and softly to yourself, but at the same time fire off your anchor for confidence to defuse its negative influence over you. Do it a few times for effect. Now take the next word that is emotionally troublesome and do the same procedure. Continue doing it with all the words that evoke undesirable states in you. Now whenever you hear such words, you won't react with fear, revulsion, anger, hatred or vindictiveness.

Words only have the power over you that you allow them to have. When words create a negative emotion in you, they control you in a harmful way. Words of censure, criticism or "I told you so" may not be intended to harm, but nevertheless sometimes trigger negative responses from you. Now you know how to defuse their negative power over you, and turn their result into something positive instead. By mastering these techniques, you are transforming yourself into a more dynamic and resourceful person with all the power you need to succeed in any direction you choose to take.

Even if you're not sure about the triggering stimulus of a particular state, at least you can recognize an undesirable state when you experience it. Once recognized, you can still trigger the anchor of a more positive state to replace it. For instance, if you anchor a relaxation state properly, the next time your recognize that your are tense or anxious, you can replace anxiety with calmness by triggering the anchor for relaxation. If you can recognize fear when it pops up, simply repeat the anchor for confidence. When procrastination pops its ugly head, activate your anchor for enthusiasm or decisiveness to counteract it. Of course, the more consciously aware you become of the haphazard anchors that produce your negative states, the better able you can be in defusing these anchors and installing positive states.

101 Tips for Avoiding Procrastination

101 Tips for Avoiding Procrastination

See how easily you can eliminate procrastination and take back control of your life. Who Else Wants To Stop Being A Slave To Procrastination? Are you ready to start ramming your head into the wall as a punishment for repeated procrastination? No matter what you do, what you promise yourself, you never seem to be able to get your work, chores, or projects done. It can happen to the best of us and it's a hard habit to break.

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