Body Language Mastery
As an exercise, at a party or with a prearranged group of people that agree to participate, have everyone for one half hour say nothing and communicate with body language alone. Observe in yourself and others what gestures and mannerisms are engaged in most frequently. Are facial expressions and hand gestures used more than body movements and touching By innuendo and subtlety, do you begin to sense a bit of telepathy Are emotional messages easier to transmit than non-emotional ones Do you think you understand others and are being understood by others with more clarity or less clarity than with words Do this same exercise with a friend or spouse for one half hour. Review the same points and questions as above. By relying solely on body language and non-verbal cues and messages, you become far more in tune with your own expressive abilities and how other people signal their attitudes as well. Practice this exercise a lot. Reading body language can be improved by everyone with practice,...
To learn about body language, first get conscious of your own gestures. Observe and acknowledge what mannerisms you portray during a normal day's activities. Does your lip tighten when you internally are angry with someone Do you lean forward or grip the edge of the table as an announcement that you have something to say Do you point your index finger when you are accusing or disciplining someone What are your mannerisms when you exaggerate or lie to someone Studies have revealed that your own personal mood and prejudices can sometimes distort the signals you receive from someone else. So observe and get in tune with yourself and your own mannerisms as an important first step in reading the body language of others. you can sharpen your discernment skills on reading body language.
As an exercise in listening, take turns with a partner so that one talks and the other listens for a full 10 minutes. As the listener, occasionally ask encouraging questions to reassure your partner of your interest or make positive comments like, Yes, I think so too or Can you tell me more or I see what you mean or I want to hear the whole story, etc. to your speaking partner. Make sure your facial and body language is also in accord with this affirmative tone. For instance, don't frown or grimace in disagreement while saying, Yes, I agree verbally. could divert your attention from focusing on the speaker. Discipline yourself to maintain eye contact, lean forward in your chair and accept the speaker's message without judging it as right or wrong. Doing this allows you to look for other clues, like body language and voice tonality. Are these clues consistent with what is being told to you Is the message genuine or staged Reciprocation is also important, so after you both have had a...
The next car they saw looked great and was in the right price range. The owner talked enthusiastically about how well he had maintained it, and proudly showed Bill and Frank the service manual. The service record couldn't have been better. As the owner discussed the car, he displayed completely open body language. He looked Bill and Frank straight in the eye throughout the conversation. Frank and Bill drove the car around the block, Frank checked it over mechanically, and after a short discussion, Bill told the owner he had a deal.
Do mental calculations (review Exercise -- Mental Multiplication ). Observe and study people (review Exercise -- Discerning Body Language ). Make use of the moments just before falling to sleep. Implant a suggestion into the subconscious that can be acted upon during the night. Heal and repair all your bodily cells. Visualize yourself healthy, free of negativity or achieving some goal in life. Make those time fragments, while driving to work or waiting for an appointment pay off for you through constant mental development. Researchers say that over 100,000 of your brain cells deteriorate every day of your life Perhaps if you started utilizing more of them, you could curtail this deterioration process.
The most powerful words in your vocabulary are the words that you say to yourself and believe.Your self-talk, your inner dialogue, determines 95 percent of your emotions. When you talk to yourself, your subconscious mind accepts these words as commands. It then adjusts your behavior, your self-image, and your body language to fit a pattern consistent with those words.
Whenever you say, I like myself your fears diminish and your courage increases. The words, I like myself are so powerful and positive that they are immediately accepted by your subconscious mind as a command. They instantly affect your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Your body language immediately improves, and you stand straighter.Your face becomes more positive and cheerful.Your tone of voice becomes stronger and more confident. You feel better about yourself, and as a result, you treat everyone around you in a warmer, friendlier way.
As an experiment, the next time that you're at a party, choose someone to watch and speak to. As you are doing this, replicate their body language, posture, breathing and speech patterns, and see how favorable your rapport becomes with that person. The quick rapport that you establish is because you are exactly like that person in so many identical ways. This is just a small example of what can be done in a greater way when you replicate the characteristics of a successful person in any field of endeavor.
To spot a liar, body language is the key -- red spots on the cheeks, fidgeting posture, clenching of fists, vocal stress or quivering voice, nervous laughter, a tapping foot, an exaggerated effort to appear casual, etc. all can depict dishonesty. Also, adding too much to a story or taking charge of a conversation to distract or divert you can be telltale signs of lying. Mostly though, the eyes are the windows to the mind, the character, the habits and the soul of a person. Beware of excessive shifting or downcast eyes or eyes that you intuit to be untrustworthy, cruel, crafty, sarcastic, revengeful or hateful when you fully look into them. If you've learned to see auras, you'll notice a greenish-yellow streak shoot through a person's aura when he tells a lie (review Exercise -- Aura Seeing ).
He is the author and co-author of the best-selling books BODY LANGUAGE How to Read Others' Thoughts By Their Gestures. TALK LANGUAGE How to Use Conversation for Profit and Pleasure, and WRITE LANGUAGE How to Write Letters that Really Work. He is the creator and host of a series of top-rating television specials and addresses over 100 conventions and seminars around the globe each year.
The third and last part of the quick programming technique is for you to verbalize or create a positive affirmation that is consistent with your mental picture. A simple affirmation would be This sales call goes extremely well and concludes satisfactorily for everyone involved. This command instructs your subconscious mind to give you the words, feelings, behaviors, and body language consistent with achieving your goal of a successful sales call.
Say them with a vocal quality that uses all your capabilities (e.g., volume, inflection, pitch, and rate). Also, make sure that your nonverbal cues are in congruence or match your vocal messages. For example, if you say, Good morning, do so with enthusiasm. Say GOOD MORNING energetically and in a loud voice. As you offer the greeting, make sure that you smile, and use open body language and gesturing (e.g., arms extended out and away from your body toward the audience). I will often say GOOD MORNING and if participant response is weak, I'll jokingly say something like, I know the coffee has not kicked in yet and it's early, but if we start the day off with a low-key approach, it's going to be a long one. Can we try that again GOOD MORNING This generally gets a laugh and a stronger refrain because everyone is now tuned into the start of the session. I can then launch into my planned content and activities.
Body Language Basics
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